Tired

Things are still slow-going with Lily. After having a great week gaining weight, she only gained 2 oz. last week. This means we won't be trying to get her to sleep through the entire night anytime soon. We have also decided that Kim is going to attempt and return to work this fall. She tossed around the idea of tutoring from home but we just don't see how we can work it out without paying for a sitter.

The reality hit us when we got a bill from the hospital for nearly $50,000 for Lily's NICU stay. This is the bill that will be submitted to the insurance company and it will be reduced since the Cleveland Clinic is an "in-network provider". With all of the digging, however, I just can't figure out how much we will owe of this. All that we know is that the social working at the hospital just kept telling us to brace for large medical expenses.

I'm sure many acquaintances and family members will be judgmental with this decision. My thought is that if you aren't willing to help or give constructive criticism, keep your opinions to yourself. This is a very difficult time on so many levels and I am tired of hearing the "encouragement" from the clueless with religious anecdotes, etc.

I find it interesting how people view an event like this as "faith strengthening". It has definitely strengthened my belief that if there is some kind of God or greater power out there in the universe, it is nothing more than the spark of creation and has nothing to do with how our lives play out here on Earth. After all, the same Bible existed 100 years ago when Down Syndrome babies were institutionalized with no chance of a semi-normal life. It is modern science that has given us hope.